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Embrace: Happy One Year + Giveaway

A year ago, this little book on pregnancy loss was released.

It’s a book that I poured everything into. A book that I have wept over and prayed on. Edited and loved and gently nudged out into the world. This messy collection of broken stories and longing hearts, peels back the layers of grief to reveal something raw and tender. Hope.

Because hope after a pregnancy loss isn’t a myth.

And yet, we know that the road isn’t an easy one. The pain of losing a child is sharp and messy; a fire hotter than anything we’ve had to endure before. Standing in the furnace, the flames press in around us — blistering and suffocating. Blindly, we call out to be rescued. For God to remove this pain. It’s too much too handle.

But He draws us closer still.

And over the roar of the inferno, we hear the still small voice. The voice of a shepherd, steady and true. The voice of One calling us to press in and dig deep. To lift these hands seared by fire lifted high in surrender.

Not to run. But to embrace.

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10 Books for the Mama Who Miscarried

The grave was impossibly small: a flattened bit of earth and grass that covered the infant-sized casket beneath. I was twenty-two years old and burying my baby. There was no preparation for something like this — no guideline for how grief should look and feel. I felt alone and overwhelmed by the intensity of my grief: What was normal? What was okay? What did the Bible say about loss?

I needed to feel the weight of shared pain and knowledge, a sacred story of motherhood that had been held by more than just me.

I needed to know that this grief was more than just pain, it was love.

I needed to find the voices of those who had walked this road before me: to weep and remember within a community.

These are some of the books I found throughout my grief journey. They’ve encouraged and challenged me, reminded me to keep my eyes fixed on Christ, and allowed me to see the beauty within every story. I hope they will do the same for you. Read more

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1 in 4: A Miscarriage Is Always More Than A Statistic

We’ve all heard the statistic: 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

The ultrasound machine that once pulsed with the echoes of life is still. There’s no heartbeat. No baby. This good-bye was too soon and the empty womb is matched only by the hollowness you feel within. 1 in 4.

A few months after my first miscarriage, I entered into a new statistic: “1 in 50.” This is otherwise known as the approximate 2% of women who experience two miscarriages in a row.

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Sneak Peek at New Book Cover!

I am SO excited to give you all a sneak peek at the cover of my new book, Embrace: Clinging to Christ Through the Pain of Pregnancy Loss.

This book has been on my heart for so long now and it is an honour to share that with you.

It’s not a book I wanted to write.
It’s not a book that I want women to NEED to read.
And yet, I believe that this book is so very necessary.

Because 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss. And yet, despite those staggering statistics, we still struggle to talk about grief. We still struggle to carry the weight of this pain.

Let me tell you friends, this may be a story of loss but it is also a story of love. Of redemption. Of hope.

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To The Mama Miscarrying Right Now

I know you’re looking for answers.

For reassurance.

You’ve stumbled onto this blog after a quick Google search, desperately hoping for a miracle.

You’re praying that the doctors were wrong. The ultrasound results must be wrong — oh, please God, let them be wrong.

You’re praying that the blood you found on your panties this morning really is just “spotting.” Your heart is crying out that something’s wrong, but maybe, it’s not. Maybe this will all just go away.

You’re praying that the cramping will stop. That this baby would not be making its way into the world so soon — that your body would hold on for a few months longer.

You’re praying for a miracle.
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Lightning Babies: Before the Rainbows

A rainbow baby is a term used to describe a child born after miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss.

These babies are stunning bits of promise after a storm, a collision of both sun and rain alike. Resounding with hope and promise, they appear after a monsoon of grief. As life breaks forth within, these little ones bring with them shimmering swaths of delight. They live up to their name, these beautiful, rainbow children of ours.

But they weren’t the first ones to light up the sky.

Because if the babies born after loss are rainbows, then the ones we lost must be lightning.

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Why Announcing Your Pregnancy Before 13 Weeks Is Okay Too

For decades, women have been told to wait until the end of the first trimester before announcing their pregnancies. After thirteen weeks, the chances of miscarriage decrease dramatically and you can avoid the awkwardness comes with having to inform everyone that you are “no longer pregnant” if you lose the baby.

This is one of the main rationals behind this advice.

And I hate it.

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Grace Like Scarlett: Book Review

Book Review: Grace Like Scarlett by Adriel Booker
Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss

Four years ago, my son was stillborn. I was at such a loss as to how to process this sudden and unexpected death and wanted someone to tell me that what I was feeling was normal, healthy even. I found it challenging to find good, recently published books that taught about grief from a Christian perspective — books that taught and reinforced a theology of suffering and grief through a Christ-centered lens.

When we openly share our grief, we are reminded that we are never too broken or damaged for God. This is why I am so glad to finally start seeing these sorts of books on the market.

Grace Like Scarlett is a beautiful look at one mother’s journey with miscarriage, all the while centered around the transforming, redeeming, and healing power of Christ. Adriel shares her story with raw-hearted honesty and vulnerability. She doesn’t shy away from the gritty but instead invites us to look at it from a new perspective.

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Unbound by Jamie Sumner + GIVEAWAY

We all have expectations for motherhood. Most of us, at some point or another, have carefully crafted plans for what our motherhood will look like, how it will come about, or who our family will be. And then, inevitably, we encounter situations that test and challenge those ideas. We’re forced to re-evaluate or else flounder under unrealistic goals.

I was super excited to receive an early copy of Jamie Sumner’s book, “Unbound” as she addresses the reality of motherhood and the struggle it can take to get there. Dealing with issues like infertility, miscarriage, difficult pregnancies, and special needs parenting, this book details some of Jamie’s own difficult journey while weaving in stories and highlights from women of the Bible. This book is beautiful and challenging, written with hope, honesty, and truth — and I was so encouraged by Jamie’s story.

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Pregnancy After Loss: Grieving a Lost Due Date

The end of March brings with it the end of our first trimester with this little bean. This milestone makes my breath catch and my heart swim. When I saw those pink lines on the pregnancy test, I was so focused on just getting through the first eight weeks, I could scarcely dream of the end of the first trimester. But here we are with a healthy, growing baby and hearts overflowing with excitement and joy.

At the same time, this month carries memories of another child I once carried in my womb. Memories of a little girl we named Avonlea. A child whom we knew for a mere seven days, a daughter whom I knew from the start we wouldn’t get to keep.

March 25 would have been her due date.

This is part of pregnancy after loss: remembering the ones who aren’t in your womb, the ones who never made it this far, and whose hearts you never saw beat. Just because a new baby grows within, doesn’t mean that the ones we lost are any less loved, cherished, or missed.

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A Letter to My Husband After A Pregnancy Loss

Last year, while working on a book about pregnancy loss, I had the privilege of interviewing over thirty, fellow, grieving mothers.

A few of the questions I asked revolved around marriage and how relationships with a spouse or partner had been affected by loss. Almost all of the mothers commented on the differences in grieving style — how men and women process and release their grief in such unique and sometimes confusing ways. We don’t always understand the other’s grief, but I was equally encouraged by the many women who shared how their marriage was strengthened and encouraged throughout this time. We found this to be true in our experience too — these differences can ultimately be our strength.

So this letter was written for the marriages in the midst of grief: those still struggling to understand each other and yet, fiercely fighting for something that is so-very-worth-fighting-for.  Read more

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Instagram Hashtags for Mothers Grieving Pregnancy Loss

You may not know it, but there is a whole community of grieving mothers right at your fingertips. Until I lost my babies, I never realized what key support could be found online — but when it comes to pregnancy loss and feeling less alone, the internet can be a beautiful place.

We all know how difficult it can be to talk openly and honestly about our grief: about the fears we’re facing, and about the challenges and milestones we’re navigating. But now that we all carry social media around in our pockets, it’s easier to begin documenting and openly sharing about life after loss. We can choose to do so anonymously or under our own name, with a private account or for the world to see. We can set our boundaries and invite people to share in our heartbreak and celebration.

And for those looking for community within the pregnancy loss world, Instagram is a key place to settle in.  Read more

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