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Raising a “Twinless Twin”

“Is he your first child?”

This question follows us around wherever we go: playing at the park, buying shrimp at the grocery store, hanging out at a mom’s group, or celebrating a friend’s birthday. This is the question I have to answer most frequently. Coincidentally, it’s also the one I find most challenging to respond to.

Most often, the truth feels too time consuming to put into words; it carries with it awkward responses and a lingering emotional toll. So I take the easy way out and simply say, “Yes.”

I know that in a few years, I won’t be the only one struggling to find an appropriate answer to this question. Alistair will have to find his own words for this story too.

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9 Tricks for Surviving Teething

When our doctor confirmed at the four month check-up that our son was teething, I assumed that we’d see those pearly whites popping up shortly thereafter. It was another eight months (and countless bouts of swollen gums) before we finally saw that first tooth – needless to say, we were all pretty relieved.

We all know that having a teething baby can be exhausting for the whole family. Here are 9 simple tricks to help you and your little one get through this process:

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The Greater Vancouver Zoo: Review

Winter is over, the flowers are blooming, and it’s finally starting to heat up! Ushered in alongside this beautiful spring weather comes the annual hunt for outdoor activities. One of the locations on our list of places to visit this year was the Greater Vancouver Zoo in Langley, BC.

This was our family’s first trip to the Zoo. Having heard a few unfavorable reviews tossed about by lower mainland families, we pulled into the zoo parking lot completely unsure of what to expect. Thankfully these rumors seem to be overly exaggerated and in actuality, are the very thing that make up so much of the zoo’s charm.

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Someone’s Missing

The backseat of my car is strangely quiet – the ride curiously devoid of its usual symphony of animal imitations, tired cries, and gleeful toddler babbling. I turn the radio down to listen for sounds of rhythmic breathing or the gentle pop of a soother falling from my son’s sleepy lips.

It is completely quiet.

It is then, with my car enveloped in relative silence, that the panic decides to strike. The feeling is not unfamiliar; my chest tightens and I am slapped with an inexplicable feeling of alarm.

“Someone is missing.”

The thought springs unbidden to the forefront of my mind, anxiety overruling logic. I have forgotten someone, I have left them behind.

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Baby Loss: After the First Year

“Do you still have bad days?”

The question lingers in the air as I quietly debate how best to answer it. I’ve had to answer this question more frequently of late – it seems to be yet another by-product of the passage of time.

It’s been twenty months since I lost my sweet baby boy; twenty months since I felt his final kick goodbye and wailed over his tiny, breathless body. There are days when these moments feel like a lifetime ago. But there are days too when my heart aches and I miss that little boy more than words can tell.

People are naturally curious as to what the grieving process looks like now – a year and a half after loss. Most individuals have heard that “the first year is the hardest” and wonder what happens after that. Do I still grieve? Is the one year anniversary some magical line drawn in the sand that erases all grief? Do I still have “bad days?”  Read more

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Guzzie + Gus Perch Highchair Review

“Aren’t you afraid that he’s going to fall?”

Legs dangling, feet swinging, my son stuffs a handful of cheese into his mouth and giggles from the comfort of his Guzzie + Gus Perch highchair. Whenever we invite guests over for dinner, this is inevitably one of the questions that gets asked. Will this “floating” perch hold his weight?

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Semlor Recipe (Swedish Dessert)

A hint of cardamom hangs in the air, homemade almond paste and fresh whipping cream sit tantalizingly inside our fridge. It’s that time of year again – the season for semlor.

Unless you’ve been fortunate enough to visit Sweden during Lent, or you know some amazing Swedes who like to bake delicious desserts for you, you’re probably wondering, “What is a Semla?”

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Valentines Day Marbled Cupcakes

Valentine’s Day may be a Hallmark-created, consumerism driven holiday, but this sugar addict loves it anyways. I’m a sucker for all things pink and sweet. Cookies, candy, chocolate, cute little cards cut in the shape of a heart? I’m there.

But one of my favourite Valentines treats? Cupcakes.

I love snacks doused in frosting and sprinkles – they’re just so pretty with all their sugary deliciousness piled on top. But lets not forget that the inside of the cupcake can be just as festive as the outside. I mean, what’s Valentines Day without a little pink food colouring?

So for all those addicted to icing and fluffy cakes, here’s a fun way to jazz up your Valentine’s Day treat: marbling.
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Mess-Free Painting with Your Toddler

Now that the weather is colder and wetter, I’ve been busy searching for indoor activities to do with my 18 month old son. That’s when I came across this easy, mess free activity for little ones with short attention spans – painting in a bag. 

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Things to Avoid Saying to a Parent Who Has Experienced Loss

 

“At least he died as a baby. It’s more painful to lose them when they’re older.”

The burial had concluded moments earlier. We sat under a green canopy, rain dripping lazily off the sides and watched as funeral workers tidied up the area around my son’s fresh grave.

This was not something that I wanted to hear. Not today, not ever.

“At least he died as a baby…”

These words were offered to me by a much-loved family member, an individual who was clearly struggling with painful memories of their own. I knew this comment wasn’t meant to cause pain – in fact, it wasn’t really about me. This was simply the truth as they saw it. But it didn’t make the words sting any less; it didn’t make them any more appropriate for that moment. It may have been “more painful” to lose an older child but I still would have given anything for a little extra time with him.

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“Baby Boy” Baby Shower

Remember when Baby Showers used to be a lot simpler? Back when a group of women would sit in a circle, tie balloons to the new mom’s chair for decoration, and watch as she opened up a pile of presents? We’d eat cake, guess which melted chocolate bar had been smeared inside the diaper, and go home with a couple clothespins clipped to our sweater.

But thanks to the wonderful and all too time consuming invention of Pinterest, things have changed. Now a days, even the once-a-year party planner is expected to channel her inner Martha Stewart, and quite frankly, it’s all a little daunting to live up to.

When it came time to organizing a Baby Shower for my marvelous friend April, I struggled to come up with a simple to execute, budget-friendly theme. So I decided to go back to the basics: a good ole’ “Baby” themed Baby Shower. (The fact that we knew her little one is a boy helped to refine the colour scheme a bit.)

And I have to say that I love the way this party came together. Cute. Simple. Budget-friendly. What’s not to love?

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The Truth about New Year’s When You’ve Experienced Loss

Every year on January 1st, life hits the reset button. Echoing around the globe are calls for “fresh starts,” “new beginnings,” and a detailed plan of attack for the inevitable weight-loss goals. Out with the old and in crashes the new on a glittering wave of 10-second-countdowns and misty eyed renditions of “Auld Lang Syne.”

At the stroke of midnight, we boldly launch ourselves into a new year filled with endless promise and opportunity. Excited over the prospect of what these next twelve months will hold, we dutifully record our 105 resolutions and set out to achieve our “best year yet!”

This year will be better than last – we tell ourselves this over and over again as we toss out half eaten chocolate bars and strap on brand new pairs of running shoes. The blank page before us is just waiting to be transcribed; it’s brimming with possibility and void of last year’s sorrows, mishaps, tears, and pain. This year we’ll be a better, stronger, happier version of ourselves.

But resetting isn’t always that simple.

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