When You Don’t Get Your Rainbow

Some of the things often said to parents after a loss is, “Well, at least you know you can get pregnant” or “It’s okay, you can always have another baby.”

I’m not even going to BEGIN to go into all the reasons why you should avoid saying the above statements to a bereaved family. But I am going to say something that isn’t always acknowledged — not all families get a rainbow baby.

That’s such a heavy truth.

Because sometimes, we lose our rainbows too.
Sometimes, we experience secondary infertility.
Sometimes, this was our last chance.
And sometimes, there just aren’t any answers.

It can be so difficult to watch other families experience the very thing for which your heart aches. And I know that we don’t recognize you often enough. That this road can feel long and lonely.

So for those families who are still waiting, still hoping, still longing, and still in the depths of grief — we see you. We know your heart holds a child that the world cannot see and that your role as their mother is often overlooked. We know your arms are still empty. While ours may have filled, we haven’t forgotten what it feels like to be standing in your shoes.

We recognize this very difficult and hard truth — not all families get a rainbow. And you, sweet friend, haven’t been forgotten.

You are seen. You are held.

And we are grieving this with you, too.

**Post originally appeared on the MommyMannegren Facebook page.**